“r”

On May 24th, 2011, I posted a letter I had written to my then “boyfriend” or whatever you want to call “r”. Whilst glancing over the posts and categories on my blog here, I came across that post and letter. Here are my reflections now over a year later, in January of 2013.

 

When I look at the time stamp of that post, I realize that even though I didn’t know it then, I was already in love with (my now husband) Ken. I had “met” him on Twitter in 2009 through Christine Fischer and sent him the occasional message but really didn’t get to “know” him until around his birthday in May of 2011. I recall wanting to call him for his birthday and being so hurt when he told me not to because I thought he didn’t “like” me. It’s silly now but I’m glad he let me call him and that some deeper intelligence told me it was finally time to cut ties with “r”.

 

Here I am now, it’s January of 2013 and I’ve been married to Ken since November 3rd, 2012. I had no idea consciously that I would be here today, married… Continue reading

Just because you find and kiss a frog, this does not mean he will turn into a Prince.

http://www.youtube.com/watch/?v=EzWsoIDjdUY

This song encompassed not only my girlhood ideals about love but also my general mood of sensitive romantic. Hands down, it’s one of the amazingly sweet songs I’ve ever heard.

Like a desert blooms with new fallen rains,
Like joy you bring me makes me live just the same,
Like a northern star that shines through the night,
The peace you offer feels so right, I can’t live…
Without your love, without your love, if you were to leave me now,
I would be lost somehow, without your love…

As mother nature makes her seasons go by,
Both our lives are just as deeply entwined,
All the ocean’s waters flow into one,
Just like this union we’ve begun, I can’t live…
Without your love, without your love,
Without your love, without your love,
If you were to leave me now, I would be lost somehow.

Without your love, one empty space, one fear that I could never face.
Without your love, those silent tears, those are the payment for your years.
Without your love, I’d lose my way, I’d never see the light of day.
Without your love, I could never trust this way again.
Without your love, without… Continue reading

It’s 10:04 pm and I should be asleep. I took some sleeping pills an hour and a half ago to help me to get to sleep. Wouldn’t you know, I’m wide awake and “thinking”. I had set out to put some tunes on to relax me but after listening a little deeply to the lyrics, I started to cry. I realized I really let my relationship with “R” do a number on me emotionally.
Continue reading

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