Posts Tagged ‘happy’
A lot of change in 9 months …
I’m not sure I can adequately bring both you and ME up to speed on the last several months. I’ll try, however.
In may of 2011, I finally said good-bye to “r” and decided to move on with my Life. While I told him then that there was no one else, I was wrong. I knew from the moment I first started talking to @kentague aka Kenneth that there was just something about him. This is the part where if this were a movie or sitcom, the screen would go all funny and you’d hear a dozen difference voices telling me I “deserve to be loved”, I’ll “find the right guy” and the like. When anyone hears this after years of heartbreak or a particularly difficult break-up, one tends to think it’s a load of RUBBISH and SHIT. I certainly did … <camera goes funny again> but fast forward to almost, neigh, immediately after said break-up. I didn’t know it but when Kenneth posted the photo saying “distance means so little when someone means so much”, well, that clinched it some where in my heart. I really did at that moment start to believe, on some level, that all that RUBBISH and SHIT people had been telling me could maybe, sort of, kind of be true. Read the rest of this entry »
Engaged!
I haven’t posted since I started my new job back around July of this year. It’s been a weird and mostly wonderful roller coaster from starting a new job and all the stress that goes with it to nurturing a new relationship. I am pleased to announce that as of 23rd November, 2011 Ken Tague asked me to marry him. We picked our the engagement ring together. We got a bit lost on our way home from the jewelry store, had to be rescued by “C” but by the time we got back to our beautiful hotel room at The Clarendon in downtown Phoenix, Ken was ready to ask “officially”.
More details will be forth coming as the even nears. We are shooting for Fall of next year, hopefully October/November. We will also be posting to our mutual wedding website which I will post a link to as it comes together.
To all that are supporting us and cheering us on, thank you!I know our courtship has been fairly brief (though longer than many I know of), we’re very much in love and very happy together. I’ve never met another man so kind, loving and compassionate. He truly fulfills me in every way.
love – k
Posted in "C", @kentague, love, PhoenixKat, relationships | 
Tags: happy, life, love, Twitter | 
Comments Closed
Only a Fool Thinks the Past is Dead …
Isn’t it the truth – thinking that because you’re not seeing it, you’re not hearing it, you’re not experiencing it NOW that it isn’t there any longer? Life can make you a fool.
I had thought earlier, just how did I become this Zen goddess, this Yoda like creature of calm? It’s been a journey these last several years and mostly, the last two that have yielded this new sense of “calm”.
If you’ve been following my LJ (and God knows, you probably have not) you would know that I’ve struggled the last several years (starting in around 2006) with various health issues. It started with some “female” issues and then I started to develop terrible pain and a feeling of “swelling” in my legs. I became even more fatigued than I had ever been. As time went on, I started to have odd symptoms – my limbs turning colors (red/purple/white), pain in my hands, numbness in my fingers, problems with vision, bleeding into my intestines (defecating pints of blood), thyroid problems, worsening back problems, etc.
Later, I found out that I had a fibroid tumor in my uterus the size of a large grapefruit. But this is all old hat.
After an embolization, surgery and many, many different doctors giving many, many different theories, I went to the Mayo Clinic. They confirmed many things wrong but didn’t do any thing to help. Again, old hat.
I’ve been on pain medication now for at least two years which has helped. I’m still in a lot of pain daily but at least I’m not crawling into work and crying the first 2 hours of every day from the pain in my hands, legs and face. I’m back on seizure meds and now I’m taking an anti-depressant for my chronic pain. I really think it’s my (very cool) neurologists way of saying “I think you need this to help you emotionally”. I’m convinced I’m doing SO MUCH BETTER.
To be fair to myself, yes I am doing much better. It’s been a journey, as I said and it’s been more bearable with pain meds, my seizure meds, a lot of soul and spiritual searching, a lot of coming to terms calmly and of course, a lot of thankfulness. I’ve learned these two years that I’m strong. I’ve learned to cope in healthier ways, not the healthiest because I am kind of an emotional eater. *chuckle* But as I tell my dr, I’m celibate so at least I can have chocolate, right? She doesn’t agree.
a rose by any other name …
“Skittery Pigeon” just left. She came over tonight … and she was early. :-) We got Italian food then stopped for dvds at Block Buster. We picked up “High Tension” and “Dirty Love” (the latter is NOT a porno thank you). “High Tension” freaked us both out so “Dirty Love” was a good diversion.
We had our usual spat at the Block Buster where we argue over who’s paying. I bought the movies and she got dinner. We actually had a tug ‘o war over “Dirty Love” because she wanted to see it but I agreed to pay for the movies. In the end I was able to wrestle it away from her and hold it close so she couldn’t get it. Aftewards, she bought the drinks and ciggies. :-P
We came back to my place, watched the movies and then she went home. I walked her to her car and we talked for a few seconds. She said we ought to get tattoos again together and I agreed. More planning is needed. Then she actually hugged me which she doesn’t usually do … she doesn’t like hugs much. Then I walked back to my apartment only to notice she left the rose that I bought her. So I grabbed it, grabbed my cell phone and ran down the stairs to the gate hoping to catch her. I accidently called her home (it’s almost 3 am) instead of her and her boyfriend answered. I, panting, said “I’m sorry, she left something here and I was trying to catch her before she got to the gate. I misdialed.” He said “well you better call her cell phone”. He didn’t sound amused.
Right as I hung up, I saw her head lights coming toward me so I stepped a little in front and flagged her down. I was panting and laughing saying “you forgot this … I just called Brian by accident”. She laughed and said “you didn’t have to do that”.
Now, if I could only take the advice from the romantic comedy we’d just watched and professed my undying affection for her … but then no. She has a boyfriend and well, we’re both girls. But sometimes I think (just because I know it would never happen) that if I just said “I’ve had a crush on you for a long time … I just had to get it off my chest” … that I would be free of the burden and not feel like I’m … balanced on the edge of a pin.
It was good to see her. I hope we don’t have to wait another year and a half before we can hang out and laugh again. I missed her.
hugs – k
P.S. Ni ni.