childhood

Well, I have officially been in the UK now since February 9th *thinks* so nearly 8 weeks. Things have been slow as far as my getting out and meeting people because I feel very vulnerable and “naked” here. Things really are the same but different so I feel a bit like an alien, grey skin, big eyes and all.

 

My first step was to find a therapist close to our home so I could see someone about what I’m feeling and the things that are coming up. I realized nearly right away that … to put it lightly a LOT of issues have come up, personally. Here is just a quick breakdown:

 

  1. Being married! Hah, no small adjustment for a single, independent girl. It’s new for both Ken and I, blending our beliefs, how we do things and what we like with each other. I have to remind him to slow down and include me in the little things like washing up, cooking, laundry, shopping. He’s used to do all these things alone so asking him to slow down and include me is a big adjustment for him. Not working or having “my own money” is a… Continue reading

I was a very sensitive child. I probably carted my Teddy E. Bear around far too often. It’s no wonder I got made fun of so much.

It’s funny how the older you get, the more you “regress” into the core person you were when you first started to build your view of the World. You go from the “me” centered stage to focus on yourself and immediate characters and finally start to examine the world and people around you. Always as a small child, you’re taking in information and deciding what is “good”, what is “bad”, your likes and dislikes.

I find as I get older, I feel inside that I’m still very sensitive and isolated. I never learned as a child how to relate to others my age and socialize. Instead, I chose to isolate myself and come up with little songs and stories to help me make sense of things, my feelings.

I feel just that way except now I’m writing blogs about these feelings but never quite making sense of them. I still feel like a small child, peering out at the world but unable to understand it or feel part of it.

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