anxiety

As some may know, my husband and I just returned from a week in sunny Phoenix, AZ visiting family and friends. What you probably do not know is that recently, we have suffered an interruption in work circumstances which has left both of us scrambling for work. I’ve been frantically looking at freelance jobs of all sorts, having a varied skill set in office work, insurance and a talent for business writing. You would think a smart gal like me would find something but it’s a tough world with a lot of people all scrambling for the same scraps as I am. It’s stressful times.

 

In light of these stressful times, I had hoped a week back home would relieve a lot of the stress and help me gain a fresh perspective on life. I’m 6 months pregnant with my first (and potentially only) child and of course everyone is just as excited as my husband and I are. You can’t beat that kind of joy and anticipation. I thought “hey, I’ll eat like a horse for a week, relax, enjoy my family and friends and come home refreshed and renewed!”

 

Mmmm, or not?

 

Saturday

 

We… Continue reading

Lately, I have been  posting a lot of my experiences on Facebook regarding the pregnancy and the local stance on c-section. I feel bad drawing comparisons between the UK and US, I know it probably offends people to some extend which I do apologize for. I know that no one wants to hear “but in my country …”. I’m not saying that though, I’m saying “I have a limited understanding. This is what I have experienced, can you tell me how it may differ?”

 

What I can say is, I can only draw from what I know and ask questions to help myself understand what I am facing as a first time mother. I feel badly if some people (mostly midwives) take offense to my asking questions but at the end of the day, it’s my body, my pregnancy and I have to feel comfortable with the outcome.

 

Warning: These opinions are my own. The statements below therapist los angeles do not seek to replace any sort of professional advise, do not seek to judge or convince any one of anything.

For more information on the NHS and C-Section, visit … Continue reading

Here we are, after midnight on the 7th of February 2013 and this is now my last full day as an American in America. I will be traveling to England on Friday at 9:10 pm and will then be with my husband, starting our new life together.

 

That’s a very powerful sentence right there. Perhaps one of the most powerful things I have thought aloud or written down to myself. I’m declaring that in less than 48 hours my status will have changed in a very physical way and all that represents my Life in the United States will be no more, at least not as it was, and will I will now be officially not only a Wife but legally living abroad. I would have never guessed any of this would happen two years ago.

 

What’s happening in my head right now?

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At this moment in my life, as I have a lot of spare time lying on my parents spare bed, I spend a fair amount of time with earbuds inserted and eyes firmly planted on on the ceiling late at night. My good friends George Michael and Cathy Dennis tonight whisper in my ears their familiar exclaimations of Love and Longing. I feel about 8 years old again (about as old as I was when these people were international pop stars of renoun) and it’s a feeling not of warm fuzzy pre-adolescent thoughts but of anxiety.

 

You see, I don’t have a lot of happy memories that I can recall at about the ages of 6 to 8, mostly when I think of these times, I feel a great deal of anxiety. In the stillness of the night, I can almost hear my parents arguing in the living room or expect the door to open, shattering any sense of privacy or security. These “trips down memory lane” fill me with anxiousness and a longing for stability. I think these ages stick out in my mind as the most anxious is because perhaps as I got a little older, I… Continue reading

I’ll save the preface for after the dream typing. That’s wrong but right now, I don’t care. I dozed a bit ago and had a lot of subconscious activity in just the two hours or so I slept. Here’s the best I can make out of it.
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