Relationships

Well, I have officially been in the UK now since February 9th *thinks* so nearly 8 weeks. Things have been slow as far as my getting out and meeting people because I feel very vulnerable and “naked” here. Things really are the same but different so I feel a bit like an alien, grey skin, big eyes and all.

 

My first step was to find a therapist close to our home so I could see someone about what I’m feeling and the things that are coming up. I realized nearly right away that … to put it lightly a LOT of issues have come up, personally. Here is just a quick breakdown:

 

  1. Being married! Hah, no small adjustment for a single, independent girl. It’s new for both Ken and I, blending our beliefs, how we do things and what we like with each other. I have to remind him to slow down and include me in the little things like washing up, cooking, laundry, shopping. He’s used to do all these things alone so asking him to slow down and include me is a big adjustment for him. Not working or having “my own money” is a… Continue reading

Well, it’s officially been one week, in fact it’s been one week and two days since I’ve arrived in merry ‘ol England. Not much to report but here are the highlights.

 

  1. Long, turbulent flight with no sleep. A wet arrival into London Heathrow and short drive to retrieve Artie Munch Katt Thomas-Tague and Earl Grey Katt Thomas-Tague (full names mind you). They were released from animal arrivals with little fan fare which was good!
  2. Long, dreadfully boring drive from LHR to Helsby. Long. Boring. Nothing to report on that front.
  3. The first few days were quite sad as Ken’s long time hairy companion, Buster “Buzz” Tague was in his final days with us. His breathing was very laboured and we spent the first few days of my arrival waking at 3:30  / 4 am waking with him and trying to keep him comfortable. In the end, we agreed it was time to let him go in a peaceful and humane way. We went to the vets office on 12 February at about 4:30 pm to say good-bye. I stayed with Buster til the end as it was difficult for Ken, understandably. Buster went quietly which was a blessing.… Continue reading

Here we are, after midnight on the 7th of February 2013 and this is now my last full day as an American in America. I will be traveling to England on Friday at 9:10 pm and will then be with my husband, starting our new life together.

 

That’s a very powerful sentence right there. Perhaps one of the most powerful things I have thought aloud or written down to myself. I’m declaring that in less than 48 hours my status will have changed in a very physical way and all that represents my Life in the United States will be no more, at least not as it was, and will I will now be officially not only a Wife but legally living abroad. I would have never guessed any of this would happen two years ago.

 

What’s happening in my head right now?

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At this moment in my life, as I have a lot of spare time lying on my parents spare bed, I spend a fair amount of time with earbuds inserted and eyes firmly planted on on the ceiling late at night. My good friends George Michael and Cathy Dennis tonight whisper in my ears their familiar exclaimations of Love and Longing. I feel about 8 years old again (about as old as I was when these people were international pop stars of renoun) and it’s a feeling not of warm fuzzy pre-adolescent thoughts but of anxiety.

 

You see, I don’t have a lot of happy memories that I can recall at about the ages of 6 to 8, mostly when I think of these times, I feel a great deal of anxiety. In the stillness of the night, I can almost hear my parents arguing in the living room or expect the door to open, shattering any sense of privacy or security. These “trips down memory lane” fill me with anxiousness and a longing for stability. I think these ages stick out in my mind as the most anxious is because perhaps as I got a little older, I… Continue reading

On May 24th, 2011, I posted a letter I had written to my then “boyfriend” or whatever you want to call “r”. Whilst glancing over the posts and categories on my blog here, I came across that post and letter. Here are my reflections now over a year later, in January of 2013.

 

When I look at the time stamp of that post, I realize that even though I didn’t know it then, I was already in love with (my now husband) Ken. I had “met” him on Twitter in 2009 through Christine Fischer and sent him the occasional message but really didn’t get to “know” him until around his birthday in May of 2011. I recall wanting to call him for his birthday and being so hurt when he told me not to because I thought he didn’t “like” me. It’s silly now but I’m glad he let me call him and that some deeper intelligence told me it was finally time to cut ties with “r”.

 

Here I am now, it’s January of 2013 and I’ve been married to Ken since November 3rd, 2012. I had no idea consciously that I would be here today, married… Continue reading

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