I stayed up til 2 am working on a video presentation with limited means. I should have gone to bed hours before but I try to get things perfect, little things, down to the milisecond. I’m insane but you knew that.
It’s funny how the combination of the cooler weather, the lack of normal sleep and still trying to get over a little cold has really warped the way the day feels. It feels almost like a weird little anxiety but it isn’t anxiety. I have no way to describe this feeling.
In other news, my boss is getting a puppy. (PS. Since I got laid off last October, I got a new job about 4 weeks later with another agency in Phoenix so my new boss is very puppy friendly.)
There are other bits o this and that but for now, I will say only that there shall be a puppy in my midst soon. I kind of like that idea.
It’s been about a year since I have written any thing, period (other than work emails). I think that at times FMS has totally stolen my pleasure, which used to be immense, in writing and reading. Now, it’s hard to concentrate and hard to work up any coherent thoughts to write. It would be today, this weekend rather when I have both not taken my usual seizure meds and also my “pain” meds (dr perscriped Cymbalta for pain) that I feel an odd, friendly melancholy and wistful feeling of missing something. Enough that it has inspired me to try to write a little before bed.
it’s a nameless, faceless thing
isn’t Molly Gart – this loss of sense
this loss of You in the mists
again you feel like ghost sheets
ruffed under my fingers when i find
there’s no bones beneath
Molly – have you loved any one
have you ever felt your heart beat?
i have scarcely heard you breathing
since before moss grew on your breast,
since frost over took you there
and since dead leaves covered your hair
can i kiss you one time before i
loose the sense of my body too,
like… Continue reading