Good morning. I wish I could crawl back into bed but I can’t today … because today is PAYDAY! I’m happy. Of course my rent is ALSO due today so I won’t have money for long. I don’t know how I’ll manage to cash my check and then manage to get my rent paid before it’s over due because well I don’t have a lot of time during the day … I’m out of the house before the office opens and home after they close. :(
In other new “Rocco” was supposed to call and he didn’t but I didn’t bother to wait up … I fell asleep and then turned off my ringer. :P I don’t know … no matter what he says he feels kind of clingy but still I’m not overly weirded out about it any more because it’s like Karma. He’s doing pretty much what I did to “MP” but like … magnified which … isn’t that what Karma is like? Hmmm? So I don’t really fault the guy much. I’ll see him at work for God’s sake!
Well I am eating orange wheat bread w/ orange cranberry curd (kind of like really strong smooth jam… Continue reading
I think too much … I think too little. I’m thinking too much and too little at the same time right NOW. I am young and I feel like I am SPEEDING towards getting old. This is both good and bad. I’m in the middle some where … always.
I wish I could make things better for every one. I hate to see any one unhappy. God this empathy thing! :( *sob* I wish I could make all the hurt go away … be like some kind of saint and just take on all the pain and sins for every one so that no one but me has to suffer. God I wish some people understood how much I do care. :(
I’m in a surprisingly good mood today! I had sort of an epiphany yesterday … a moment of clarity that made me realize (again) just how precious this life is. That even when it’s horrible and bad and it hurts a hell of a lot … it’s still such a beautiful precious gift. And I am thankful. :)
I got a very emotional email from a friend and I must say … tears just came flooding to my eyes immediately. It’s not easy for many people to show their emotions but this friend, who finds it hard to do so, said so much to me in just that email. She expressed so much and I am really glad that she did. I admire her strength and her willingness to grow. I called her and we talked. She confided some thing to me and I felt a lot of empathy for her. It runs so deeply through me … the empathy that I find myself feeling for others … it was kind of an intense feeling … being able to feel so deeply with her and to understand so much what she was saying.
You know how people say when some… Continue reading
I had a sort of epiphany today which I will tell you about tomorrow most likely. Right now Nermal won’t let me type. :) But I had a freaky week and then a FREAKY night last night where I cried quite a bit and then today where I bust into good tears but again Nermal won’t let me tell you … she keeps sticking her head under my hands as I type and pushing me away from the keyboard. :)
I’ll tell you tomorrow. :)